When I’m in the midst of an emotional storm, I can’t imagine how things will turn out well in the end. I never feel happy or blessed. Maybe if you’re going through a hard time now, you feel the same way. You wonder if things will ever get better and if so, how soon. And yet we are told to “consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” (James 1:2 NIV). This is definitely not a favorite verse of mine and one that is hard for me to live by.

Yet, the very next verse says, “because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:3 NIV). And isn’t that something we all need? Perseverance, endurance and courage are essential in life. So when I’m in the throes of conflict, I turn to God’s promises of love and care. 

I have been struggling with a particular difficulty for over a year now. It has brought heartache and confusion. Every day I wonder if it will end. As I pray, I remind myself of our Lord’s encouraging words, “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11—-my absolute favorite verse). In my dark days, I need faith to believe and patience to wait for the answer.

Often times my worries, fears and anxieties feel so heavy. I physically feel like I have an oversized backpack full of bricks strapped on my back. As I keep carrying it, my steps become slower and unsteady, as though I’m going up a steep, rocky incline. The weight becomes unbearable. I feel weak and in pain. I want to stop. I want someone else to finish the hike. That is when I need to surrender. I need to give my backpack to Jesus. So, I unfasten the straps and drop all the weight at his feet as He stands in front of me. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take another step. I’m giving this to you and asking you to carry it to the end.”

I used to think the word surrender implied weakness, cowardice, even insignificance. But now I view it as a form of sharing, more like a combined effort. Like a relay team, each member runs their portion of the race then passes the baton to the next partner. Jesus is my partner. He is the one who will finish successfully. He will carry my load of fears, worries, heartaches and anxieties once I give them to Him.

Then what is my responsibility after that? I need to trust. I need to believe. I need to thank Him for the heavy backpack while having faith He will resolve all it’s contents. God knows when I’m going through difficult times. He knows the season I’m in won’t last forever. I need to remember His timing is perfect and He is in control.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 NIV

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NIV