Some time ago, I wrote about parenting adult children and the experiences I have encountered. Another more challenging chapter in my life is aging parents. Admittedly, this is a stage I wasn’t prepared for.

I lost my Dad in 2011 to lung cancer. The day he was diagnosed he was told it was already Stage IV. My mom, my sister and I were stunned and frightened. Everything happened so fast. Our remaining time together was not nearly long enough. He died two months later.

My Mom is still alive and I have to admit, I didn’t think she would last this long without Dad. But she has always been the strong one in our family. Mom has endured a lifetime of illness. As a child she had polio. Then as a teenager she suffered her first brain aneurysm. When I was in elementary school, I remember a hospital bed set up in our living room where she recovered from her second and third brain hemorrhages. In my teen years, she had cancer. Then 14 years ago she suffered a heart attack and had five stents surgically implanted. But she always survives. What she lacks in physical strength she more than makes up for in spiritual strength. Mom has always had the deepest faith of anyone I have ever known. She was my first example of a true Christian woman and my first teacher of our Catholic faith. 

Mom is 88 now and suffers from dementia. Her long term memory is still crystal clear. As she talks about growing up the youngest of seven kids in Boston, I am amazed at the details in the stories she recalls. But I see her short term memory faltering when she asks me the same question every couple of minutes. 

It saddens me when I see her declining so rapidly. She seems like just a shadow of the woman she once was. Due to her memory loss, she wasn’t remembering to eat regularly or take her medications. So a couple of years ago my sister and I had to move her to an assisted living facility. While her mental health keeps declining rapidly, her physical health has improved since she has been there. 

This is a phase of life I wasn’t ready for. I didn’t notice that while my sons were growing up and my husband and I aged, my parents got older too. Somehow since they were my parents, the child in me thought they would always stay the same. Instead, they became the ones who needed to be taken care of. For many of us, the role reversal of parent and child is a part of life. For me, I find consolation and self worth in knowing that while my sons don’t need me as much, my Mom needs me more.

Heavenly Father, Please watch over and bless our parents.

“I have been young and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken.” Psalm 37:25 (NIV)

“Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.”  Proverbs 16:31 (NIV)

For years people have asked me to pray for them and their intentions. I feel honored and humbled with these requests. If you have a concern weighing heavy on your heart, please connect with me on my Prayer Request page (found in the Main Menu). I would be honored to add you to my prayers. I promise your words will be kept confidential.

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